


Cold Snap

by ladymacbethsspot



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Universe, Canon-Typical Violence, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feelings Realization, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-31
Updated: 2018-01-31
Packaged: 2019-03-05 05:40:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13381341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladymacbethsspot/pseuds/ladymacbethsspot
Summary: A mission beyond the walls goes in an unexpected direction. The Scouts are forced, by poor weather, to change their plans and confront danger. Erwin is conflicted on many levels.





	Cold Snap

**Author's Note:**

> Really, my only excuse for this is what a very cold winter I've been having. 
> 
> Find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) where I reblog Eruris, garbage, and post occasional writing (that ends up here).

Staging one final expedition beyond the walls before year’s end had been a mistake. One Erwin only came to appreciate when he awoke with the dawn on the third day.

The morning was cold. Frigid. Bitter. The quickly shortening, mild days of autumn that lingered far beyond their usual stay had evaporated soundlessly like mist, burnt away by the merciless arrival of winter. Cold blazed just as searing as hot. Erwin’s stinging ears, the stiffness in his lower back, the visible form his breath took when it made contact with the air- all evidence.

Their encampment was afflicted with its malaise. Overnight the abandoned town had turned from a welcome waypoint to a silent museum; skeletal trees and half-preserved buildings stood, sharp edges muted by a blanket of snow. Erwin shivered, pulling his cloak closer, and headed out to check his horse.

A sharp crack reached Erwin’s ears when he came upon the remnants of the stable. He made for the noise. Inside the structure was no warmer, despite the animal bodies crowded together. If anything, it was colder. There stood Levi, the sound’s source. He leaned over a water trough, striking the frozen surface with the heel of his boot. His leg moved in violent, staccato notes. The ice groaned. He struck again. It yielded with a pop, thick shards and icy droplets flying from the path of worn leather. Winter may have arrived with a vengeance, but its icy trappings were no match for the strength of his smallest Squad Leader.

Not all the Scouts took the abrupt shift in climate in stride. Readying to break camp took longer. Fingers, slow to bend, fitted on belts and packed away supplies clumsily- losing time. Grumbles ate up the space normally occupied by banter. Cups of hot water for a morning meal required eternities to boil. Each was already cold before it could be finished.

All protests ceased when Erwin announced the intent to travel back to the walls, cutting their mission short. None were as disappointed as him. Hopes of one final surveying opportunity before the long, dead season were dashed. A mission that had been carefully planned- ruined. In the face of such conditions, the one remaining option was shame: return empty-handed.

Only Hanji saw it as a blessing and opportunity. Undaunted, they launched a barrage of chatter at Erwin before breaking camp. Maybe they would see titans on the way back; maybe their behavior would be affected by the temperature. Would they be slower? Would they be easy to spot, betrayed by a column of steam rising from their warm bodies? Hanji was so eager. Erwin was not. He prayed they wouldn’t find any answers.

Questions rung hollow in Erwin’s head as they rode out. Only one thought stuck, itching at the back of his mind as it always did outside the ring of the walls. Constant vigilance. That was the only way to survive.

His horse galloped on, the snow doing little to slow their advance. Fluid motion of the beast under him, the freezing air whipping around- it was exhilarating. The blue dome of sky above was achingly clear, air too cold to condense into shape. Each breath stung, but there was nothing more painfully sweet than the feeling of taking another. Quiet but for horses’ hooves. Still but for their animals’ advance, eating up the ground in front of them. Anemic, blue shadows shrunk and then lengthened as the day wore on.

An hour before sunset they reached the hills. Erwin split the formation, sending troops around each side before heading straight over himself. This way, he thought, they’d have better visibility. This way they stood more of a chance.

This way they were scattered.

The titans loomed before them, hidden until the last moment by tricks played by rough terrain and disorienting camouflage of stark light and shadow. The calm had snapped, wrenched away by surprise and terror. Everyone was slow to react. Their faces numbed by the wind. Arms and legs shaking already from exposure before fear. Everyone was slow, except Levi. His anchors clicked, accompanied by the hiss of gas as he flew towards the nearest giant. The sounds broke the spell, they spurred everyone to action and the fight began in earnest.

As always, the carnage was impossibly quick. Soldiers were scooped from horses, frozen before they could scream. In chaos, both fear and cold were equally deadly- both compromised a man. Shrieks echoed back upon themselves, twisted and magnified by the hills. A titan, felled by three men, sent up a hissing column of steam thicker and whiter than a flare. Amidst the clamor Erwin’s body took command from his mind. He entered the fray, slashing at the neck of a titan, felling it with powerful, practiced strokes. Landing back on the ground, cushioned by the snow, he surveyed the situation. Constant vigilance. Scanning, for something. No, someone.

Levi flew through the air and Erwin turned his head to follow the arc. He had no time to marvel at the contradiction of the man’s graceful flight before he heard the sound. A click. Then nothing. No anchor. With a second click, an anchor shot out, changing Levi’s trajectory. Barely a moment was wasted. But a moment was all it took.

The titan’s arm moved faster than something its size had any right to.

Knocking Levi from the air, it clipped his wings.

Blades slashed bright flashes in front of him. They barely stopping the weight of his freefall: sinking into monstrous flesh at the Titan’s chest. Erwin surged forward. He shot anchors into the Titan’s shoulder.

No hesitation; Erwin did not think. Something was wrong. Levi was in danger.

The titan’s other hand batted at Levi. It plucked at a kicking leg while he hung precariously.

Erwin did not see. Nothing mattered. Nothing but the closing distance between himself and the titan’s neck. Nothing but his blades sinking deep, slicing through tissue and sinew.

The beast lurched. Its conscious motion stopped. Life fled its grotesque body.

Erwin flew away, landing on the ground in time to see it tip. Levi swung along with its motion. For a sickening moment, fear gripped Erwin by the neck, strangling his breath.

Levi would be crushed by the titan as it fell. He might already be unconscious, grip maintained by sheer stubbornness.

The next sounds were a blessing. Two small noises, whisper-quiet snaps of blades released from handles accompanied by the familiar sound of the working anchor shooting out. The vapor trail of gas that followed Levi as he dropped to the ground left a reminder of the reason for the urgency of the previous moments.

They were not finished yet. The monsters were not vanquished.

The remaining titans were dispatched with cruel speed; the white snow was defiled. Marred by craters and scrapes, revealing dark ground underneath, gashes on the earth itself. Strokes and blotches of dark slick, of gore. Snow stained red, bleeding the blood of soldiers and monsters: indistinguishable.

When Erwin found Levi, he was cleaning newly-blooded blades and boots in the snow. His mouth formed a thin line, cold-purpled lips clenched grimly. The crystalline edge of violence had fled his body, leaving just a man. Painfully mortal.

“Are you hurt?”

Levi turned to face him. The dark stains on his uniform steamed away gently. His hair was stiff, eyelashes frozen, decorated with the most delicate threads of ice. His scowl did little to hide the slight shiver Erwin saw in his jaw.

“I’m fine. My gear’s gone to shit though. Iced over.” Erwin nodded. Even metal wasn’t immune to frost, even steel could shatter in the cold. Such betrayal could be crippling, even for the strongest of soldiers.

“Swap the parts with someone who no longer has need of theirs. We’ll make camp for the night.” Erwin whistled for his horse and sent up a distress flare to gather the troops.

That evening a grim mood sat heavy on the camp. Fires were built to bring some heat and relief, but the chill had already taken up residence deep in Erwin’s bones. It was more than just the weather that left him numb and brooding. It was the decisions he’d made, ones that led them into danger. It was the losses they’d sustained, more good men and women felled meaninglessly. It was the fear that had gripped him, the realization that he could lose control so easily.

Rations were dry and tasted like a sawdust in his mouth. A cup of boiled snow did little to quench his thirst. Erwin sat by the fire, staring into its depths as his mind floated, replaying once scene over and over. A click. Then nothing- no anchor. Levi missing, plucked from the air by the titan, his bones crushed as he cried out, light uniform dyed crimson.

The tin mug dropped from Erwin’s hand onto the ground, hot water splashing over his boots and melting a patch in the snow. He did not notice.

A loud click. Then nothing. Levi missing, falling, being caught by the titan, and ripped limb from limb. Levi screaming, the titan’s fingers tipped with his blood.

Erwin swallowed, his mouth felt dry.

A deafening click. Nothing. Levi, broken and almost unrecognizable, bloodied mouth barely moving as he lay in Erwin’s arms, life fleeing him.

Erwin stood quickly, his head reeling. He walked from out from the circle of the officers’ tents and continued until he was beyond the last soldier’s small campsite. His vision was hazy, narrow and distorted. His stomach rolled and flipped. Bile rose in his throat. With a groan and a keening, painful sound Erwin bent over and vomited in the snow. Shoulders and chest shaking, the heaving continued until there was nothing left but acid and spit. And still he couldn’t be rid of it, the echoing sound of his downfall. A single click.

Long and sleepless, the hours passed. Erwin lay in his sleeping bag, watching the light from the fire outside the tent dim. He had retired early, hoping to banish the waking nightmares, or replace them with those that came with sleep. Instead, his mind buzzed steadily. Giving up, he put on his boots and jacket. Spending a restless night by the fire would be warmer.

Pushing aside the flap to his tent, Erwin did not expect to see anyone else still awake. Yet, there sat Levi, staring silently as embers burnt down to ash. The death throes of the fire cast flickering light across his features. Erwin moved to his side, sitting as close as he dared, as close as decorum would allow.

Erwin turned his head away from Levi and spoke, as though to no one in particular.

“It is very late. You should sleep.”

Levi agreed with a grunt.

“It is very cold tonight.”

A second grunt.

“My tent would be warmer.”

Erwin stood, took one last look at the fire, and went back into his tent. He removed his jacket and boots, then the rest of his clothing, before slipping back into his sleeping bag. The glow from the fire had faded at last. Muted footsteps, the flap of his tent being opened and closed. Levi entered.

Wordlessly, Levi removed his cloak. His boots followed. He looked around the tent, eyes taking in the pile of folded clothing Erwin’s uniform had become. Still silent, Levi stripped and made a second, smaller, pile next to it.

When he slid into the sleeping bag, Erwin couldn’t hold back a gasp. Levi was so cold. Every place Levi’s skin touched Erwin’s it stole the heat from him. Like frozen metal brushing against him. But Erwin did not shy away, instead wrapping both arms around the other man to pull him close. To fit his head in between chin and chest, to gather his limbs, surrounding him.

If not for safety, at least for reassurance.

If not for warmth, at least for relief.

It was a long time before Levi began to feel anything like human. Before pale, chapped lips took on color of their own. Before fingers and legs began to shiver as feeling returned. Erwin held tighter, burrowing them both deeper into the folds of the thin sleeping bag. He held tight until Levi’s trembling body calmed, until muscles no longer spasmed and twitched.

If not for safety, at least for comfort.

If not for warmth, at least for closeness.

Erwin felt the warm puffs of breath against his chest lengthen and grow gentle as Levi drifted off. Arms slowly encircled his waist, legs twining into his own. Entangled in Levi, the ghost of a single click began to fade. Banished by skin, and musk, by a sharp chin pressing into his sternum and the tickle of warm air disturbing the hairs on his chest. Erwin closed his eyes, burying his face in soft, straight hair.

He breathed deep and let himself be soothed by sleep’s embrace. Entangled- by Levi’s embrace.

Not for safety, not for warmth.

For something more.

**Author's Note:**

> Now you all know why I don't frequently write canon-verse works.
> 
> Comments/feedback/etc. always welcome!


End file.
